The importance of self-care and filling your pots

Many of us use the new year to find a sense of motivation by setting resolutions for the year ahead, and these can often be quite lofty goals. While many of us make these resolutions with the best intentions to better ourselves, 93% of New Year’s resolutions fail before the end of January. That’s why it’s so important to not be too hard on yourself if you’re one of the ones finding it hard to keep up with resolutions. Instead, perhaps we should be focusing on self-care more generally?

We’ve reached out to Di Pulley, who runs mental health training across the UK. Below she shares the importance of self-care, and how we can all become just a little bit better at taking care of ourselves, not just during winter, but all year round.

Filling your pots

Self-care is not something we are taught when we are growing up and I am often asked to explain what it is.

I like to use the following metaphor to demonstrate...

Imagine you have two pots inside of you, a rubbish pot and a self-care pot.

Each day there will be rubbish going into the rubbish pot. For example, you wake up remembering that you have a tough meeting today, you get out of bed and stub your toe, then you make yourself a cup of tea and find the milk has gone off. Maybe there has been an accident on the way to work and so you are late in then you receive a worrying text from a family member. Sometimes it may be something much more serious and scary.

A fact of life is there are always small, medium and large things going into this rubbish pot, these are usually always things that are out of your control.

These things happen to us all the time and they are simply a part of life for all of us. So, you have to put things in to your self-care pot to counter balance this.

When I ask people what is going into their self-care pot, the responses include things like, “I went on holiday six months ago” or “I go out for a meal once a month” but most commonly I hear “Nothing goes in mine”.

The key to maintaining mental and physical well-being in your life, is that there has to be small, medium and large entries going into the self-care pot. I like to refer to these as the things that are in your control. Find things that will help to fill your self-care pot, small things can be daily, medium things could be something to look forward to each weekend, and something large could be a special treat. I set the participants an exercise to make a list of small, medium and large activities that could help to fill their pot. If you’re struggling with self-care, here are some tips on how you can start filling up your self-care pot:

1. Find some time to exercise, preferably something that you enjoy. Even going for a short walk gives benefits.
2. Eat as nutritionally well as you can. Food can impact mood much more than many of realise. Nuts and seeds have been proven to lift moods and give you energy without the slump of sugary or high carb snacks.
3. Getting outside in natural light, even for 10 minutes, has been proven to improve mood and aid better sleep. Plus, it strengthens your immune system.
4. Try to connect with others regularly, perhaps meet a friend once a week for a catch up.
5. Make yourself a cup of tea, and make time to sit down, relax and enjoy it, not whilst you’re doing the 101 other things that need doing.
6. Take a lunch break (even if you don’t go to a place of work) take 30 minutes out for you to help recharge you.
7. Find an activity that helps you relax. We are all different and what might work for one of us may not be comfortable for another, so you know what is best for you. Some find an audio meditation works, some find being out in nature is just what they need. Soaking in a warm bath with some chillout music can be great.

Di Pulley is a Counsellor, Psychotherapist and Coach at TLC Partners and is passionate about helping others improve their mental health.
www.tlcpartners.co.uk